Aaron Rodgers, Please Think of Your Dick and Get Vaccinated

The legendary Green Bay Packers quarterback is forgoing the COVID-19 vaccine because of "sterility" concerns.

Aaron Rodgers—known for either dating Shailene Woodley, insurance commercials, or an incredibly accurate passing game—has COVID-19. Thoughts and prayers on this Wisconsin’s man speedy recovery. But why does this wealthy man have COVID-19 at a time when three vaccinations are approved for adult use? Well, he’s worried about his penis.

Back in August, Rodgers told reporters he was “immunized” but wouldn’t elaborate about what vaccination protocol he received. (Big shout out to Michael Smith on Peacock’s “Brothers From Another Mother” who clocked his deliberate language months ago.) It turns out, according to NFL Network Insider, Rodgers had sought a vaccine exemption after taking a homeopathic treatment from his personal doctor. His exemption request was rejected, and Rodgers has been subjected to daily tests and masking requirements as a result of his choice to remain unvaccinated. And now, unsurprisingly, he has COVID-19.

On Friday, Rodgers joined the Pat McAfree Show by video to talk about his diagnosis. During that appearance, Rodgers said one of the reasons driving his anti-vax decision is “sterility” and fertility. “The next great chapter of my life I believe is being a father and it’s something I care about a lot. To my knowledge there’s been zero long-term studies around sterility or fertility issues around the vaccine so that was definitely something I was worried about,” Rodgers said.

Multiple studies have shown COVID-19 can lead to short- or long-term erectile dysfunction. Medical professionals are even using the possibility of limp dicks as a way to market vaccines. The Urologists United For Vaccination Education need to call this man. Earlier this week, the collective of urologists across the nation put out a funny (I guess) PSA about the dangers of COVID-19 and erectile dysfunction. What’s worse, rhetoric like this is adding to confusion surrounding the safety of the vaccine for pregnant people. Vaccination rates among pregnant people are roughly half that of the adult population: 34.8 percent of pregnant people ages 18-49 compared to 69.8 percent of people over 18.

Rodgers also said podcaster Joe Rogan has given him advice, that Rodgers has a “medical squad” unlike most Americans, that he believes in “autonomy” over one’s body (unless it’s abortion), and that he’s in “the crosshairs of a woke mob.” (Rodgers also claimed to have an allergy to an ingredient in the mRNA vaccine, but failed to say why he didn’t get the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, a viral vector vaccine.)

The Packers seem to be pretending not to know her for one week: When asked about Rodgers’ August comment, coach Matt LaFleur said, “It’s a great question for Aaron, I’m not going to comment on it.” Finally, in an ending that only Aaron Sorkin would have written, the Packers’ third-string quarterback also has COVID-19, leaving only one signed player to get them through a game where players are regularly tackled by 250-pounds of pure muscle. Good luck!