Tiger Woods generating hideous amount of TV coverage is ruining the Masters

These days, you can never be too careful.

For instance, if a squad of bodysnatchers planned to infiltrate Augusta National to abscond with Tiger Woods, it wouldn’t have been on CBS/ESPN’s watch.

Despite Woods’ highly predictable diminishing returns, TV cameras again haven’t let him out of our sight during the first two rounds — not from the minute he leaves the clubhouse for the first tee until he returns, no matter how many hours later.

The only time TV chooses to dismiss its all-hands-on-deck Tiger Patrol is when he leaves the premises due to an injury or missing the cut.

The younger adult men and women in our lives may find this impossible to believe, but, oh, 25 years ago, the Masters appeared much differently on TV. There wasn’t any finagling of the leaderboard to show Woods first among eight players tied at 2-over, no video examinations and speculations of how he was walking after every shot, no over-the-top and highly disingenuous testimonies to Woods as the greatest human being to graced our eyes.

Got it? Most viewers know that’s not true — not by a long shot — but why would any TV golf folks suddenly be driven to tell the truth?

Before the hideous excesses of TV Woods became the only reason to watch golf’s majors, the Masters on CBS was a limited-by-club rules telecast, but one that followed all the contenders — be they Jack Nicklaus or Nick Price. Lasting rooting interests developed.

Now? If you don’t buy into TV’s Woods myopia, you can check your cell phones to see how the other guys are doing. Or perhaps to see if Woods’ “special” Canadian doctor has had his license restored.

Thursday, as TV marveled at Woods’ “soft hands” on pitch shots — a pro golf norm and need since Gene Sarazen was kicking slats out his cradle — a TV camera then cut to a closeup of Wood’s hands.

“This,” surmises reader Peter Covino, “was to prove that Woods indeed has hands.”

Friday, when Woods was eight back, more of the same.

Back in the days when TV allowed us to watch it, the Masters was great.

Stefon always Digging himself into holes

You don’t think we live in a different world than pro athletes?

What seems exceedingly stupid to many was somewhat predictable from Stefon Diggs — a talented WR now with the Texans, his third NFL team.

He was traded by the Vikings after being fined for missing practices and a deteriorating relationship with the team. With the Bills last year, he remained a conspicuously all-about-me guy. He was fined nearly $14,000 for spraying beer on fans during a touchdown celebration in the stands.

His first act with the Texans was to pay new teammate, safety Jimmie Ward, $100,000 for his No. 1 jersey.

He bought a shirt for $100,000.

Did you know this year’s A’s, of all miserable franchises, are loaded with great pitchers?

Oh yeah, Thursday the A’s beat the world champion Rangers, 1-0, one-hitting the Rangers behind four pitchers. The A’s, striking out 14 times, tried to lose it but ran out of time.

Mike “Sitting Bull” Francesa “had to confess” on his gambling-sponsored podcast last week: He made a prop bet, and wouldn’t you know it, he cashed and cashed big!

As can be seen and heard from the @BackAftaThis account on X, run by a fellow who takes great joy in exposing Francesa as a bloated liar, Francesca claimed to have bet Francisco Lindor to homer. And wham, Lindor did just that.

Odd, no one can recall Francesa ever in his long and boastful career ever touting a prop bet on an individual player — at least not before the game.

As @BackAftaThis noted, this brings his lifetime record to “7,441-0 in games that have already concluded.”

Does the University of Colorado not have the authority to tell Deion Sanders no?

Sanders has added, vulgar, career reprobate Warren Sapp to his coaching staff. In addition to being suspended and a frequently flagged and fined slug — Sapp’s specialty was instigating fights during pregame warm-ups — he lost his NFL Network gig to being an on air pig.

His arrest record includes solicitation of a prostitute and domestic battery (both charges were later dropped), and though he spent a fortune on himself, he filed bankruptcy, lost his mansion and was behind on his child support payments.

Now Sapp can join Sanders, who also claims he takes his orders from God, in mentoring young men.

And that’s all good with the University of Colorado.

Watch these 3 chase Cup

Three to keep a close eye on during the Stanley Cup playoffs:

Panthers center and captain Aleksander Barkov: Tremendous work rate, vision and senses. He’s a large reason why linemate Sam Reinhart has 54 goals.

Rangers forward Barclay Goodrow: Though a fourth-liner, he makes things happen. Plays hard and is an action-magnet, difficult to move off the puck.

Oilers winger Zach Hyman: The Toronto native and former Maple Leaf has quietly scored 54 goals this season by being a pesty presence for goaltenders. He’s an interesting dude, having written books for children. Jewish, he’s expected to play if a game lands on Yom Kippur.

Now that most of North America realizes the Kelce Brothers are a pair of self-entitled, classless jerks, the only folks left to declare that everyone loves them are pandering media.

Say here’s a reasonable idea: To reduce the protracted, dreary endings of close college basketball games with multiple timeouts per teams, disallow teams from calling time after they score. It’s no longer their ball, so why can they call time?

Weekend Boomer Award goes to Scott Van Pelt, the wisecrack-reliant “SportsCenter” anchor who played it straight on Masters’ telecasts.

Eighth-grade basketball players — children — are now taking to social media to declare which high school they’ve chosen to play for. There are even national rankings for sixth-to-eighth graders. And you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction?

Suzyn Waldman is now forced to play sports gambling drum-banger on Yankees radio. What if she’d just said no?

Buck Showalter has returned to MLB Network as a studio analyst. If only he were encouraged, let alone allowed, to speak unvarnished truths about the state of big league baseball, MLBN would be worth the stop.

As baseball savvy reader Jim Curnal reminds us, the computerized strike zone boxes that appear on our screens are significantly inaccurate, as they show the strike zone to be the knees to the waist. But MLB rules identify the zone from the knees to the letters.

Suddenly toothpaste seems to be named after erotic dancers. I’m now brushing with Crest’s “Vibrant Peppermint,” recommended by four out of five bouncers.